How to talk to your partner about splitting birth control costs

If you're not quite sure how to approach this matter, this article is for you.
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Team Kin
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March 27, 2024
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How to Talk to Your Partner About Splitting Birth Control Costs | Kin Fertility
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Over 3 in 4 women in Australia between the ages of 16-49 use some form of contraception [1].

That's a significant number which got us thinking: how much are women spending on birth control? And do men chip in as well?

To better understand the current climate of contraception in Australia, we undertook a survey — and what we uncovered was a gender disparity between what men and women pay for contraception, how easily they can access it, and the mental load that comes with these challenges.

We also found that many believe birth control costs should be a shared responsibility.

If you were thinking of asking your partner to split contraception costs, but aren’t quite sure how to approach this matter, this article is for you.

The Climate of Contraception in Australia

Before we get to our tips, let us share a snapshot of what we found in our recent survey.

When it comes to access, 73% of women need a doctor's appointment to access their preferred contraceptive method, whereas 70% of men can access theirs at a supermarket [2].

"I wish it were easier to get repeat scripts rather than wait around [at] a doctors for an hour for a script each year." - Separated Straight Millennial Female from QLD

Other challenges women face include:

On top of this, 81.5% of women pay for their own contraception — yet, 68% believe it's unfair that they spend more on contraception than men [2].

Splitting birth control costs may be part of the solution

We couldn't ask about the challenges women face in accessing birth control, without asking about solutions and what Australians believe would help achieve a more equitable landscape.

More male contraception options and better support from the Australian government were two popular answers.

However, more than half of respondents also mentioned cost sharing.

Of course, we know that bringing up this topic isn't easy. Especially considering the fact that almost half of the men we surveyed think it's fair for women to spend significantly more when accessing contraception [2]. However, it's not impossible and by following the tips below, we hope the conversation becomes more comfortable for you.

Tips for starting the conversation with your partner

Here are our top tips for making this conversation easier for both of you:

Think about what you want first

Knowing what you want is the halfway point towards having a productive conversation.

You may, for example, want to suggest a 50/50 split. Or, you know that your partner doesn't make as much money as you and think it's fair they pay for a smaller percentage.

Or maybe you're happy to pay for birth control yourself but would like them to be responsible for a bill of the same amount that you typically share. Say, the WiFi or your Netflix subscription.

Make it a (money) date

Yes, a money date! Setting aside time to talk finances is a great way to make sure you're both on the same page and to bring up topics like the cost of birth control.

You may even want to set a cadence to it; maybe once a fortnight or once a month.

This takes the pressure off both of you to find the right time and place to have these discussions. It gives both parties the floor to communicate openly and make financial decisions as a team.

Our tip? Make it as date-like as possible. You may actually look forward to these conversations if you know you'll get to eat at your favourite restaurant.

Show them the facts

There's nothing like cold hard numbers to get your point across — and to educate your partner as well. That's why we conducted this survey in the first place.

The truth is, the financial burden of contraception may be something that has never even crossed their mind. But it is something they should be aware of.

Showing them these numbers will help them understand the true climate of contraception in Australia, and give them a better idea of the challenges women often face in accessing birth control.

Remind them you're both benefiting from birth control

Yes, you may be the one taking the pill every morning, getting the shot every 12 weeks or going in to get an IUD, but birth control benefits you both as a couple — and it's important they understand that.

Once again, this may be something they haven't given much thought to, but an unwanted pregnancy would impact both of you.

If you need to, have more than just one conversation

For some couples, this is a decision that can be made in a 10-minute chat. For others, it isn't and that's fine — you don't have to decide after just one talk.

You both may need time to think and consider the other person's thoughts, feelings and arguments. Again, money talk isn't easy. Just make sure you do come back to it at some point. Perhaps on your next money date!

Remember, it is entirely up to you

Ultimately, there are no rules when it comes to who should pay for birth control.

Maybe you'd like your partner to pay half of your contraception, maybe you'd like to stay in control of that aspect of the relationship and pay for it entirely.

Whatever that case may be, remember that it is your own body and sexual health, so you should always feel empowered to do what feels right and comfortable for you.

References

  1. https://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Committees/Senate/Community_Affairs/ReproductiveHealthcare/Report/Chapter_2_-_Enhancing_access_to_contraceptives
  2. In conjunction with Kin Fertility, Pureprofile, a renowned global data and insights organisation listed on the ASX, undertook a comprehensive online market research survey targeting Australian adults. Spanning from 25-31 January 2024 the study involved over 1,000 participants and aimed to observe the current state of contraception use in Australia
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